Illustration by Deshi Deng. Since last October, I've used this column to try and shine a light on sex and disability, a topic that's often seen as taboo. I haven't always had a lot confidence with women and have generally taken to view my wheelchair as one gigantic cock block.
In high school, I never thought sex with another human being would be possible for me. Even milder amorous activity seemed out of my reach. It didn't help that my teachers didn't believe educating teens about sex was important.
I eventually lost my virginity at 23, but, to be perfectly honest, I didn't feel percent ready until I met Joslyn Nerdahl a year later. With Joslyn's help, I have been able to fully express myself in a healthy way. Because of my disability, I already need help with so many intimate things as part of my everyday routine, such as getting dressed and using the bathroom. So I felt uneasy asking somebody to assist me with sexual activities, too. But Joslyn is very good at what she does and understanding what my needs and fantasies are, and I now feel comfortable with my sexual preferences.
Having gotten to know Joslyn over the past two years, I wanted to ask her about her important work as a sex surrogate and how sex and disability are major arguments in the movement to decriminalize sex surrogacy in Canada. Want to see what sex surrogacy is like? VICE: So tell me a little bit about yourself and your work. Joslyn Nerdahl: I'm 34 years old. I'm a mother of a wonderful seven-year-old boy.
I'm a sex educator, and I'm an intimacy coach. Or I'll say I'm a clinical sexologist. People usually say, "Well, what the heck is that? What does that mean? Isn't it considered medically assisted? In Canada, there is no classification for what we're doing. So we use the word "surrogacy," and we're gonna be using the word "surrogacy" during this interview. But actually there is no surrogacy protocol in Canada yet. We're working on creating that right now. Surrogate partner therapy really only exists in the US.
